The Portico Cafe

I work at the Portico Cafe on N Florida Avenue. We support those in need, those dealing with recovery from drugs and alcohol, and those dealing with mental health issues.

I am one of those with mental health issues, as you all know if you have read my other posts and stories. I am so blessed to be here, working with amazing people and helping set up great services and church related events. We are having an open mic night tonight. I’m here now, getting ready for it. It’s so cool hearing everyone’s stories and voices coming through in their songs, jokes, and poetry.

Across the way, in the community hall, they’re doing art. Painting and creating away. This community is so mesmerizing. I have never been a part of something like this. I have never even imagined there being something like this either.

God has given me a second chance, I can bet He was saying “If she does not take this as a sign to be better, I don’t know what will.” I am so grateful for Him.

I am reading a book called A Guardian Angel Recalls by Willem Frederik Hermans. Wow, is it amazing. My relationship has grown so much with God during reading it. I was already close with Him, but we are closer than ever before. I’m realizing my mistakes and issues I’ve made in the past through this book. I am so happy I got it, I switched out a horror book to get this one and I’m so glad I did!

When I first started reading it, I immediately fell in love. The main character is not very likable in the beginning, he made me think of myself, how I used to be. Selfish, self centered (I know that’s basically the same thing but it’s big enough to say twice). For a while, I was only thinking about myself, I didn’t care what others thought or wanted. What would hurt them and what would scar them. I would not sit and think, is this damaging? To me or to others? Is it what I need or just what I want?

Working here, reading this book, really makes me think. I don’t want to be a bad person. I like who I am becoming now, I read a quote, I don’t know who said it, but it reads “If you are ever scared that you are a bad person, remember that bad people don’t care about getting better. I really resonate with that. I’m thankful for this job, for this book, and for just being able to be a better person, Thanks be to God!